View Transcript Transcript Dilbert says, "Hi. My name is? Not in person! That way I can filter out the losers. I'm working on that.

Tags tinder , dating , online dating , attraction , awkward , relationships. View Transcript Transcript Wally: Hey, I saw you on Tinder. Tina: Please don't say anything else. Please don't say anything else. Wally: I swiped left. Tina: Gaaa! Tags analysis , comparison , dating , first date , judging , a-b testing , click with , analytics , measuring , too many questions , relationships , science. View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot?

Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most. Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions. Tags dating , relationships , office romance , policy , legal issues , human resources , business. View Transcript Transcript Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships. View Transcript Transcript CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married. CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? That's my girlfriend! Tags business , dating , office , office workers , unicorn. Do you have any advice? Tags seeing beautiful woman , curtains , venetian blinds , lawn chair in yard.

View Transcript Transcript Wally says to Dilbert, "I've been seeing a beautiful woman. But something came between us. Totally unforgiving. Tags dilbert's , ego , porsche , woman , Dilbert , dating , bar. View Transcript Transcript Dogbert: Nice toupee. Dilbert's Ego: Thanks. It's the, "Roy Orbison," model. I am now ready to hit the dating scene. Woman at Bar: Really? You drive a porsche? Dilbert's Ego: It's red But enough about me. View Transcript Transcript dilbert and dogbert walking outside.

dogbert: they say most people meet their future mates at work. now that you are working from home, your odds of mating just turned negative. you could try using a dating app to find a woman, but then you'd need to rely on your looks.

obviously, that's a dead end. your best chance of reproduction has always been to wear down a co-worker over several years. women need time to get over your appearance, and to appreciate your inner qualities.

we should have a goodbye party for your genes. dilbert: maybe next time we could walk and not talk. dogbert: maybe. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the desk. Dilbert writes, "Single, dumpy and dull male seeks young and beautiful woman for romance. View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot?

Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most. Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions. Tags annoyance , binary , code , coding , developing countries , frustration , internet , technology.

View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I have been sent to disable the Elbonian Internet as retaliation for hacking into our corporate network. Elbonian 1: Only our elites use the Internet. The rest of us don't care. Knock yourself out. Elbonian 2: Zero, zero, one, zero, one Elbonian 3: I wish someone would just disable this thing. Tags communication , developing countries , hackers , hacking , internet , technology.

View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: My company sent me to crash the Elbonian Internet in retaliation for hacking us. Elbonian 1: Can you hear me now? Elbonian 2: It's better without the string! Tags book , internet , friends , struggle , buying friends , fake , technology.

View Transcript Transcript CEO: I'm writing a book about the struggles of my people. Dilbert: Your people? CEO: The ones I bought on the Internet. Dilbert: What? CEO: They don't look happy. That feels like a book. Internet Dating Comic Strips Search. Search Filters Year Character Dilbert Dogbert The Boss Wally Alice Asok Catbert Carol Ratbert Ted Tina Bob the Dinosaur Elbonians The Garbageman Dilmom CEO Robot Phil Mordac Topper Company Lawyer Finance Troll.

Sort by: Relevance Relevance Newest to Oldest Oldest to Newest. Wednesday December 31, Dilbert Does Online Dating.

View 1 - 10 results for carbon dating comic strips. Discover the best "Carbon Dating" comics from Dilbert. Tags carbon dating , dinosaurs , pun , puns , smartwatch , technology , anthrpocene epoch. View Transcript Transcript Dinosaur: Ha ha! I am now the coolest member of the household because I have a smartwatch. Hello, watch. What time is is? Watch: This is the anthropocene epoch. Dinosaur: Wow, that carbon dates me. Tags dating , internet dating , low standards , online dating , triple threat , six feet tall , hair , height , job , business , relationships.

View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I got 9, responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile. All I said is that I'm six feet tall, I have hair and a job. Meanwhile, everywhere: Women: Hair Triple threat!

Tags analysis , comparison , dating , first date , judging , a-b testing , click with , analytics , measuring , too many questions , relationships , science. View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most. Woman: What exactly are you measuring?

Dilbert: Asks too many questions. Tags dating , relationships , office romance , policy , legal issues , human resources , business. View Transcript Transcript Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard. Company policy requires you to register your lustful feelings with our legal department. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little.

Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships. View Transcript Transcript CEO: I love this dating app. Wally: I thought you were married.

CEO: I'm just looking. What's the worst thing that could happen? CEO: Hey, what's my wife doing on here? That's my girlfriend! Tags business , dating , office , office workers , unicorn. View Transcript Transcript ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. dilbert: that is absurd and untrue. ted: then how do you explain the fact that five people told me it was true? ted: i mean, you'd have to believe all five of them are idiots. dilbert: including you, it's six.

Tags absent mindedness , annoyance , status upadte , multitask , one task , doubling rate of failure , useless blob of carbon. View Transcript Transcript Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe.

Boss: What? I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Alice: This totally works for me. View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I've got two good prospects on this dating site. One is addicted to Facebook and the other is addicted to prescription pain meds.

Dogbert: Sort of a tie. Dilbert: But only one of them is likely to make eye contact. Tags Family , work from home , 2 days err week , reduce carbon foorprint , wife , small children , egg carton , talking to moron , relationships. View Transcript Transcript Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint.

Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

Tags carbon dioxide , exhales endangered species , fabrications , harbard , higgs boson particle , licorice and flashlight , national football league , no bragging rights , no kids , training for olympics. View Transcript Transcript Coworker: My daughter is training for the Olympics. My son is going to Harvard. Dilbert: I have no spawn of my own, so I claim the right to name a proxy to brag on my behalf.

Topper, I need you. Topper: OF course you do. My daughter discovered the Higgs boson particle using nothing but licorice and a flashlight. My son inhales carbon dioxide and exhales endangered species while playing in the National Football League. Coworker: This isn't fair! You can't just make up stuff! Topper: According to the president of the International Society of Boasters, fabrications are acceptable.

Coworker: I'd like to talk to that guy. Topper: You're looking at him. Dilbert: I win. Carbon Dating Comic Strips Search. Search Filters Year Character Dilbert Dogbert The Boss Wally Alice Asok Catbert Carol Ratbert Ted Tina Bob the Dinosaur Elbonians The Garbageman Dilmom CEO Robot Phil Mordac Topper Company Lawyer Finance Troll.

Sort by: Relevance Relevance Newest to Oldest Oldest to Newest. Friday December 05, Bob Gets A Smartwatch. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can. Email Comic Share on Facebook Tweet Share on LinkedIn Comments 0 Buy. Tags carbon dating , dinosaurs , pun , puns , smartwatch , technology , anthrpocene epoch View Transcript Transcript Dinosaur: Ha ha! View more books now. Wednesday December 31, Dilbert Does Online Dating.

Tags dating , internet dating , low standards , online dating , triple threat , six feet tall , hair , height , job , business , relationships View Transcript Transcript Dilbert: I got 9, responses on this dating site and I haven't even completed my profile.

Monday January 05, Dating Is A B Testing. Tags analysis , comparison , dating , first date , judging , a-b testing , click with , analytics , measuring , too many questions , relationships , science View Transcript Transcript Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Wednesday May 11, Company Policy About Dating. Tags dating , relationships , office romance , policy , legal issues , human resources , business View Transcript Transcript Catbert: Rumor has it that you are dating a co-worker named Loud Howard.

Friday October 06, Ceo Uses Dating App. Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships View Transcript Transcript CEO: I love this dating app. Thursday March 28, Dating A Unicorn. Tags business , dating , office , office workers , unicorn View Transcript Transcript ted: i hear you're dating a unicorn. Sunday June 05, Tags absent mindedness , annoyance , status upadte , multitask , one task , doubling rate of failure , useless blob of carbon View Transcript Transcript Alice: Seriously?

Friday March 09, Monday April 09,

Saturday February 13, But that's just the external stuff. What's the worst thing that could happen? I was very fussy and didn't expect to meet a man on Tinder. Tags dating attractive men , dumb self centered , intelligent homely guy , gym , free weights , girl talk , Dilbert , Women. Lawyer: Okay, I think we have you covered, but the stapling phase will sting a little. Tags dating , app , technology , tinder , match , cheating , adultery , eskimo brothers , relationships.

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